Exploring Overworking Through the Lens of Nonviolent Communication

In our fast-paced society, many of my clients face the challenge of overcommitment and overworking. This tendency is influenced by various socio-economic pressures, such as the need to perform and keep up with the rapid changes in our world. While some of these pressures are systemic and vast, recognizing and detaching from the internalized beliefs about productivity can offer significant freedom. Rather than enacting habitual programming that may have been helpful in the past but is no longer supportive, you can make decisions that are more aligned to your needs and self-awareness. You may realize you have more choice in the moment than you may have thought. 

Below are some journal prompts crafted to guide your exploration through the principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). These prompts are designed to help you connect more deeply with your feelings and needs in relation to overworking. As you reflect on each question, please use the accompanying feelings and needs list  link to support your inquiry.

Reward and Recognition: Reflect on times when you received belonging, acceptance, or appreciation for exceeding expectations. Using the NVC feelings and needs list, identify the emotions and needs that were met during these instances. 

• How does striving for perfection or excellence relate to your sense of self-worth and identity? 

• Have there been other ways that these needs were met while you were in alignment with your deepest self?

Past Experiences and Validation: Think about moments from your past where being capable, helpful, or productive brought you validation or a sense of belonging. Acknowledge the feelings of joy or fulfillment from these achievements. 

• How can you integrate this understanding into a more balanced work-life approach while honoring your emotional needs?

For The Full Worksheet, Click Here!

Roxy Manning: The Antiracist Heart, Nonviolent Communication, and Learning to Practice Compassion

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Doing the urgent work of dismantling white supremacy and capitalism is an overwhelming task that cannot be achieved alone. But how do we find healing and connection within our communities and move forward when there is so much hurt to be overcome? Joining us today to help unpack this nuanced and urgent topic is Roxy Manning, Ph.D. — an Antiracist, Nonviolent communication (NVC) speaker, consultant, and psychologist.

Roxy is the author of two highly relevant books, The Antiracist Heart: A Self-Compassion and Activism Handbook and How to Have Antiracist Conversations: Embracing Our Full Humanity to Challenge White Supremacy. Drawing on over twenty years of experience in nonviolent communication (NVC), she has held training and workshops around the world, engaging in the meaningful work of healing relationships within global majority communities.

In today’s conversation we delve into the nuances of nonviolent communication and learn how practicing compassion, both for ourselves and others, can combat the harmful teachings of white supremacy and capitalism. Roxy shares the powerful lessons she’s learned from her work, the challenges she continues to face, and the experiences that continue to give her hope. To hear the full scope of everything we cover today, tune in for this profound and important conversation.

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Key Points From This Episode:

•   Introducing Antiracist, Nonviolent communication speaker, consultant, and psychologist, Roxy Manning. [0:00:27]

•   An overview of what nonviolent communication (NVC) means in different contexts. [0:04:09]

•   Unpacking why the global majority community is not a monolith, and the many ways people’s needs can differ from one another. [0:07:14]

•   Unknowingly internalizing insidious white supremacist beliefs; how it can pit BIPOC folks against one another; the challenge of learning how to recognize and change this. [0:08:22]

•   Learning to have compassion for yourself and others; unpacking why capitalism and white supremacy harms all of us. [0:15:57]

•   Roxy’s self-compassion practice and how this has helped her in life and at work. [0:24:00]

•   How acknowledging our privilege can help us make connections outside of our communities. [0:27:19]

•   Highlights from the work Roxy has done healing relationships within global majority communities. [0:32:09]

•   Roxy’s approach to handling microaggressions within and outside of global majority communities. [0:35:17]

•   What gives Roxy hope as she continues to do the hard work of anti-racism and NVC. [0:37:06]

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Quotes:

“We're all in this together. We're all suffering from what capitalism and white supremacy has done to us.” — @roxymanningphd [0:17:18]

“Some people are more impacted, in many different ways, by the systems that we've inherited, than others. Because those systems were designed to benefit some people over others.” — @roxymanningphd [0:19:19]

“If I call you out, no matter how intensely [or] harshly I do it, I'm actually telling you, there's still a chance for connection. Because when I don't care, when I have lost all trust, or faith in you, I walk away.” — @roxymanningphd [0:27:26]

“The more that we acknowledge our own privilege and work on it, the more we can actually have the kinds of connections outside of our communities that we want.” — @roxymanningphd [0:29:39]

“If we are always punishing the other when they do something to us, we're reinforcing that message that we have to punish ourselves in order to motivate our own change. That's problematic.” — @roxymanningphd [0:32:00]

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Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Roxy Manning: https://roxannemanning.com/

Antiracist Conversations: https://antiracistconversations.com/

Roxy Manning on X: https://twitter.com/roxymanningphd

Roxy Manning on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/roxymanningphd/

Roxy Manning Books: https://roxannemanning.com/books/

The Antiracist Heart: A Self-Compassion and Activism Handbook: https://www.powells.com/book/antiracist-heart-a-self-compassion-activism-handbook-9781523003785

How to Have Antiracist Conversations: Embracing Our Full Humanity to Challenge White Supremacy: https://www.powells.com/book/how-to-have-antiracist-conversations-embracing-our-full-humanity-to-challenge-white-supremacy-9781523003730

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Communicate Authentically and Courageously: Culture Offerings Workshop Series

We’re excited to announce that Phoenix’s Culture Offerings spring workshops are now open! These workshops are designed to transform the way we communicate in our workplaces by focusing on skills like collaboration, conflict resolution, and empathy. We'll cover topics such as how to have difficult conversations with confidence and creativity, how to process challenging emotions, and how to embody our values when advocating for justice.

Registration for the spring Culture Offerings series is now open — the four workshops include:

Surfing Workplace Waves 🌊: learn how to surf the ups and downs of your workplace with more ease and confidence. 

Offering Feedback In The Workplace 💬: this two-part workshop utilizes NVC tools to offer feedback in a way that is authentic, honest and helpful.

Staying Grounded Under Fire 🔥: learn how to receive challenging interactions with more ease and playfulness utilizing NVC tools and technique.

How To Have Conversations About Racial Justice 📣: navigate complex racial justice conversations with skills that foster connection in high stakes situations in this two-part workshop.

We believe that these trainings are essential for anyone looking to transition to the Next Economy. And, as a special offer for our valued community, we're providing a 10% discount on individual workshops or the entire series with the code LIFTCULT10OFF. 

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Show Notes + Other Links

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Sarah Peyton: Using Relational Neuroscience to Enable Change

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While there is an ever-growing pool of ideas on how to use business as a force for good, and how to change systems, getting people to open their hearts and listen to one another can often be a sticking point in enabling systemic change.

Sarah Peyton is a neuroscience educator, constellations facilitator, Certified Nonviolent Communication trainer, and author of the book, Your Resonant Self. She invites her audiences to understand how trauma affects their brains, and teaches them about their brain’s capacity for healing.

In this episode, Sarah talks about how we can use neuroscience to understand people in the workforce. When we understand people’s inability to meet expectations, not only can we soften, but we can also create organizational structures and interventions that foster people’s healing. Although viewing employees as whole people is becoming increasingly common, it is still not the dominant business culture. We talk about what it means to go against the status quo and the implications this has.

Our conversation also touches on sustainability, and expanding the definition of the concept, the importance of community, and what can happen when we allow emotions into the workplace. Opening the hearts and minds of others is not a simple task, but incredible change is possible with these shifts can happen.

Key Points From This Episode:

• What Sarah’s work entails and how she came to be interested in this line of inquiry. 

• How we can use relational neuroscience to better understand how individuals fit in the workforce. 

• Some questions to ask when thinking about bringing a whole person into an organization. 

• The importance of understanding how our patterns have impacted past experiences. 

• What we can do when people do not meet performance expectations. 

• When we understand the root cause of people’s ‘bad behavior’, we can help them better. 

• Some evidence-based practices that have been proven to help people in organizations. 

• The decision-making shifts that happen when organizational power structures are flattened. 

• Reflecting on the power of giving people autonomy and creativity in their roles. 

• Why Sarah believes that we have to rethink the definition of sustainability. 

• Unpacking the differences between the right and left hemispheres of the brain. 

• How we can bring our right and left-brain hemisphere knowledge into the workplace. 

• The extraordinary shifts that happen when we allow space for emotion in organizations. 

• Some strategies for how we can make space for our colleagues’ feelings. 

• We live in a dominant culture and when we go against the status quo, we pay a price. 

• The value of creating communities where there are spaces for narratives counter to the dominant ones. 

• What Sarah means when she says we have all made contracts with ourselves. 

• How to connect with Sarah and some of the work she has in the pipeline.  

Tweetables:

“One of the things that relational neuroscience gives us is that it gives us a sense of what kinds of patterns we repeat and why we repeat them.” — @resonantself [0:06:38]

“I always take the word sustainable with a grain of salt because are we talking about sustainable where we’re making sure that those who have a stock share in your organization are getting a good return on their investment? Or are we talking about sustainable in terms of everyone getting a living wage and being able to create a good solid mission in this world that changes the world?” — @resonantself [0:24:10]

“There is something quite extraordinary that happens when we do make room for emotion.” — @resonantself [0:29:07]

“There’s a way that our little personal systems are no different than our business systems and our bigger systems, and we make contracts, very often with ourselves in order to avoid the pain and discomfort of previous traumatic experiences.” — @resonantself [0:39:49]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sarah Peyton

Sarah Peyton on Twitter

Your Resonant Self

Marshall Rosenberg

Reinventing Organizations

Phoenix Soleil

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This episode is brought to you by the Next Economy MBA.

What would a business education look like if it was completely redesigned for the benefit of all life? This is why the team at LIFT Economy created the Next Economy MBA (https://www.lifteconomy.com/mba). 

The Next Economy MBA is a nine month online course for folks who want to learn key business fundamentals (e.g., vision, culture, strategy, and operations) from an equitable, inclusive, and regenerative perspective. 

Join the growing network of 250+ alumni who have been exposed to new solutions, learned essential business skills, and joined a lifelong peer group that is catalyzing a global shift towards an economy that works for all life.

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Oren Jay Sofer: Awareness of Deeper Needs & Meeting Them Mindfully

Next Economy Now highlights the leaders who are taking a regenerative, bio-regional, equitable, transparent, and whole-systems approach to using business as a force for good. 

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Oren Jay Sofer teaches meditation and communication retreats and workshops nationally. A member of the Spirit Rock Teachers Council, he is a Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication, a Course Trainer at Mindful Schools, and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner for the healing of trauma. Oren also holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University and is the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication.

Interview Highlights:

• Unpacking definitions of non-violent communication, mindfulness, & meditation

• How understanding one’s own needs, the needs of others, and the various options for potentially meeting those needs puts one a a tremendous advantage in all relationships, including the relationship with oneself

• The wide-ranging and beneficially transformative application of non-violent communication

• Some of the key principles of Oren’s book and how it’s accessible approach allows readers to fully integrate these tools

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LIFT Economy is an impact consulting firm whose mission is to create, model, and share a locally self-reliant economy that works for the benefit of all life. 

Phoenix Soleil, Partner at LIFT Economy, is a teacher of Nonviolent Communication and mindfulness and has a passion for developing people, teams, and organizations. She has led trainings in communication, racial justice, personal development, theater improvisation, and play for individuals, groups, and organizations such as Google, the Kellogg Foundation, Mind Body Awareness Project, and Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute.  Phoenix is also an Affiliate Trainer for Race Forward: The Center for Racial Justice Innovation, where she offers organizational development trainings focused on increasing inclusion and diversity in the workplace. Email Phoenix at phoenix@lifteconomy.com.

Sharon Salzberg: Working with Mindfulness & Loving-kindness at Work

Next Economy Now highlights the leaders who are taking a regenerative, bio-regional, equitable, transparent, and whole-systems approach to using business as a force for good. 

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Sharon Salzberg is a pioneer in the field of meditation, a world-renowned teacher and NY Times bestselling author. She has played a crucial role in bringing meditation and mindfulness to the West and into mainstream culture since 1974, when she first began teaching. Sharon is the co-founder of the first western meditation center in the US: The Insight Meditation Society, in Barre, MA. She has authored ten books, including the New York Times bestseller, Real Happiness, her seminal work, Lovingkindness and her 2017 release, Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection. Acclaimed for her down-to-earth teaching style, Sharon offers a secular, modern approach to Buddhist teachings, making them instantly accessible. She is a regular columnist for On Being, a contributor to Huffington Post, and the host of her own podcast, The Metta Hour, with over 70 episodes.

Help these ideas reach more eyes & ears:

1. SHARE this post on social media!

2. RATE Next Economy Now on I-Tunes!

3. SUBSCRIBE to Next Economy Now: iTunes | Overcast | Stitcher | Etc.

LIFT Economy is an impact consulting firm whose mission is to create, model, and share a locally self-reliant economy that works for the benefit of all life.

Phoenix Soleil, Partner at LIFT Economy, is a teacher of Nonviolent Communication and mindfulness and has a passion for developing people, teams, and organizations. She has led trainings in communication, racial justice, personal development, theater improvisation, and play for individuals, groups, and organizations such as Google, the Kellogg Foundation, Mind Body Awareness Project, and Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute.  Phoenix is also an Affiliate Trainer for Race Forward: The Center for Racial Justice Innovation, where she offers organizational development trainings focused on increasing inclusion and diversity in the workplace. Email Phoenix at phoenix@lifteconomy.com.